The first time we overclocked in the nude - By Sarah

It was January 1997. I remember it well. I had just bought my first PC for christmas and was ecstatic at how fast a P120 was. At the time I was working as an international supermodel but soon gave up my job when I discovered the joys of overclocking.

I booted the pc up and squealed with excitement as the BIOS read 120mhz. At that point I couldn't control myself. I ripped my blouse off and frantically switched the machine off.

A few seconds passed, a few seconds to breathe deeply and control myself. I plunged into the back of the machine and fiddled with the jumpers, reconfiguring the bus speed from 60mhz to 66mhz, whilst leaving the multiplier at 2x.

In a frenzy I ripped off my skirt and turned the machine on again. Oh the thrill! The thrill of it! As it showed 133mhz! I was jumping with joy. I called Tamika, Alison and Gayle and they all rushed round to my house.

We sat there that evening totally naked, giving thanks to the overclocking Gods for letting us zoom to the dizzying heights of 133mhz. It made such a difference in Quake 1 with a 4meg Orchid Righteous 3d Card. (V-Sync disabled).

We made a pact that night, that from then onwards we would always overclock in the nude, we would strive to better understand clock-locking and would always give thanks to the overclocking Gods for their help.

We made a pledge that to this day we hold dear to our hearts:

1) To never wear clothes again whilst there is an overclockable processor on this planet.

2) To only eat Celery. No other food substance is permitted in the house of the Naked Overclockers.

3) To observe, respect and accept the fundamental law that the maximum overclockable speed of a processor is proportionate to the degree of swing (average between the four of us) that our breasts display while dashing through Silicon valley at a mean speed of 7mph.

4) To cherish and worship at all times the overclocking Gods. May their names be eternally blessed and may they empower us to rack up the mhz.

5) At all times to use thermal grease. Never to substitute it or to waver from the holy path decreed by the aforementioned Gods.

6) From time to time to make upgrades where appropriate. To make such upgrades based only on the price/performance/bobble factor and no other such means.

7) Never to buy Cyrix. Let the great fire of 1999 be a lesson to all of you.

8) To display as frequently as possible to passers by our beautiful breasts, and furthermore to make said breasts available to the public as frequently as possible. (Overclocking sessions notwithstanding)

9) To adopt, acknowledge and accept that within every batch of processors there are good and bad overclockers, but to never discriminate against a processor on the basis of it's maximum attainable speed.

10) Only to purchase cosmetic surgery once the 2000mhz barrier is broken.......

It was from that day forth that we have kept sacred the words within the pledge. We freely wander the streets of OCVille giving pleasure to the ordinary citizens. We have been arrested many times, but will never give up the fight, the fight to be naked when we overclock........